Sharknado 2.0?

It's shark week. 



















I'm a moody, irritable, full on raging bitch.  I'm so sensitive, practically on the verge of tears for no reason whatsoever yet in a moments notice I could snap and bite your head off.  Back off people.  Jaws has nothing on me.


This morning I woke up in major pain.  My uterus was going "Chris Brown" on me.  Cramps are quite possibly the worst thing next to child birth and heart ache.   The only thing more uncomfortable, would be getting a Brazilian bikini wax from my Father in Law.  I can't wait until my 4-6 day sentence is up and I'm back to my normal, semi-bitchy self.  

Men have no idea what this feels like.  No clue.  I love this little video that came out earlier this year showing 2 men experiencing the "labor like" contractions.  This is just the contractions, not the actual pushing, stitches and goodies that go along with it.  It's so funny.   It's the only thing that has made me laugh all day.  I know my measly little cramps are nothing like this but I swear sometimes I writhe around in such agony that it's reminiscent of labor.   



So needless to say, I'm having a lovely day.  Not.  Today has been the perfect storm of emotions and pain.  Just call me Sharknado 2.0.  For those of you who haven't heard about Sharknado, you aren't missing anything.  It's the dumbest sensation that currently trending.  The premise is a storm in the Pacific Ocean causes water spouts to form and somehow 100's of sharks are sucked up into the water tornadoes.  Then when the tornadoes hit land the sharks go flying everywhere or something ridiculous like that.

Now that I've bored you with my tales of woe and useless information, it's time to get my butt in gear and get a move on.  I need to pour myself a glass of something and start dinner.  Tonight I will raise my glass to the almighty, impending menopause and cross my swollen fingers it approaches sooner rather than later.  

Don't worry, be happy

It's Friday night and I don't want to stress about life's little hiccups so I'm going to put on my Jam of the Day and have a great night with my family.

Remember, don't let your happenings destroy your happiness.

Today's Jam

M.I.A

Well, I'm back.  I didn't really go anywhere, but I've been MIA.  Mentally In Adequate.  I have been avoiding my "blog-ligations" because I have felt the ugly pressures I put on myself and been unable to keep up with my end of the bargain.  The bargain being, "I'm going to write every day for one year and see where it takes me."  Blah, blah, blah.  I hate that I can let myself down in an instant and hate myself for it but it doesn't really seem to stop the action.  But when it comes to others, I have such guilt that there is no way I can let them down.  Why can't I be a priority to myself?

You know what?  Enough of this damn guilt.  I'm going to take the pressure off myself and say, I will write when the "feeling" comes over and not because I have to.  I want to write when I have something on my mind that's worth sharing.  I can only do what I can do.  Plus I can't stand the fact that I'm trying so hard to please others and have lost sight that this whole experiment was for me to figure my shit out. So far this summer, I've stressed my tan self out and I'm still confused as to where this life is going to lead me.

I know I'm not alone and others can relate.  Not knowing where you will be in a year career wise  is freaking scary.  At this point, I don't even have a career.  First I have to find it and "make it work" like Tim Gunn always says.  

The only certainty in all of this mess is that I have no choice but to keep the faith and trust that whatever happens will happen because it is supposed to.  That's the delusion I've mentioned before, but it's so hard.  I'm human and weak.  Sometimes I want to throw my hands up in the air and wave them like I just don't care and say, "Eff it," but that damn guilt whispers in my ear, "put your hands down, you look like a crazy person, your daughter is watching you, plus you didn't shave your pits!"  Dang it, I knew I forgot something this morning in the shower.  Sidebar thought:  Don't you hate it when you shave your legs but skip a strip and have a patch of spikes going down your leg?  I'm rocking the spikes right now on my left calf and it's driving me crazy!!

Where was I besides lost and confused and probably PMSing?  Oh yeah, I've regressed.  I'm tempted to take my sophisticated photo off and go back to just the perm pic, but I'm not.  I'm just going to relax a bit.  Pressures are off, I'm going to walk around singing "Que sera sera!"  I have to just come to terms with the fact that sometimes in life there are set backs and monkey wrenches get thrown into the equations.  Truth is, most of the times we are the monkeys throwing the wrenches.  Growing up isn't easy, life is hard.  Some would even say, it's "bananas."  ;)  Time to "peel" away the layers and get down to the nitty gritty.  I'm not a failure, I'm just a work in progress.

For a good time, head over to pinterest.

If' you are not on pinterest.com, you are really missing out.  I go there for everything from craft ideas, recipes, home decor and my all time favorite, the funny links.  OMG, if you ever feel like being unproductive you MUST head over to Pinterest and waste the day or night away.  Seriously, you will be in a trance for hours.  I had every intention to write a nice, uplifting blog today but instead I got sucked into the Pinterest Portal.

These are some of the funnies I found today.  Enjoy.  Thanks Pinterest for taking the last 4 hours of my day.

The feeling...

My heart races when I feel as if I have something to say.  I know when it's time to sit and write.  It's kind of familiar and uncomfortable at the same time.  It's almost like a delicious, panic attack.  It's hard to explain, but I just know if I don't get it out, it may be gone forever and I'll regret it instantaneously.  I have that feeling at this very moment but I have no clue what it's about.  It's frustrating.  So I'm just going to sit here and take a deep breath and see what comes out.  I have no idea where I'm going with this but I'm going to just go with it.  This feeling is almost "out of body," if that makes any sense?  I don't know what I'm saying, I just speak.  

I just had a thought.

What if it's not me who is supposed to speak today?  Could it be you?  Maybe you have something weighing on your heart and have been too afraid to say it.  Take a deep breath and just say it.  But when you do, speak encouraging words.  Uplift others and love, even when what you have to say may hurt.  That old saying, "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" is the biggest crock of you know what.  Words hurt more that scrapes and bruises.  They penetrate the soul and leave a wound that's slow to heal.  Sometimes they scar.   

And just like that, the feel is gone.  Anxieties have settled and satisfaction rushes over.  Nothing life changing or poignant words were spoken, but something was said. 

And I can live with that.

Insert Clever Title Here

Why is it that when you have tons to do, you don't want to do it?  Today is one of those days.  I have been playing with a balloon with my daughter for over an hour.  So far she's winning.  You know the fun game where you pop the balloon up in the air with one hand for as long as you possibly can.  I did it so long that I got motion sick.  I had no choice but to lay down and take a nap.  ;)  It was a hard decision. 

Now I'm gonna start the chores because I don't want to do it tomorrow on my day off.  (Yes, every day is like a day off.)  I plan on heading to the pool and getting a Strawberry Lemonade and Strawberry Almond Chicken Salad from Wendy's.  Yum!  Those stupid commercials get me every time.   Anyway, it's off to do the laundry, clean the bathrooms and wash those darn dishes again.  Talk about living life in the fast lane. 

Oh, I just remembered a cool trick a friend of mine shared with me years ago. Fill your sink with Pine-Sol or my favorite Mr. Clean with Febreze for a few hours and walk away.  This way when your spouse comes home he/she thinks you cleaned all day because your home smells great!!  Sneaky, sneaky.  

I hope you have a wonderful day.