I'm a moody, irritable, full on raging bitch. I'm so sensitive, practically on the verge of tears for no reason whatsoever yet in a moments notice I could snap and bite your head off. Back off people. Jaws has nothing on me.
This morning I woke up in major pain. My uterus was going "Chris Brown" on me. Cramps are quite possibly the worst thing next to child birth and heart ache. The only thing more uncomfortable, would be getting a Brazilian bikini wax from my Father in Law. I can't wait until my 4-6 day sentence is up and I'm back to my normal, semi-bitchy self.
Men have no idea what this feels like. No clue. I love this little video that came out earlier this year showing 2 men experiencing the "labor like" contractions. This is just the contractions, not the actual pushing, stitches and goodies that go along with it. It's so funny. It's the only thing that has made me laugh all day. I know my measly little cramps are nothing like this but I swear sometimes I writhe around in such agony that it's reminiscent of labor.
So needless to say, I'm having a lovely day. Not. Today has been the perfect storm of emotions and pain. Just call me Sharknado 2.0. For those of you who haven't heard about Sharknado, you aren't missing anything. It's the dumbest sensation that currently trending. The premise is a storm in the Pacific Ocean causes water spouts to form and somehow 100's of sharks are sucked up into the water tornadoes. Then when the tornadoes hit land the sharks go flying everywhere or something ridiculous like that.
Now that I've bored you with my tales of woe and useless information, it's time to get my butt in gear and get a move on. I need to pour myself a glass of something and start dinner. Tonight I will raise my glass to the almighty, impending menopause and cross my swollen fingers it approaches sooner rather than later.
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