Cha, cha, cha, changes!

My mother mentioned to me last week that she noticed a change in my attitude since I've started writing again.  I had become more pleasant and relaxed and positive.  WTF?  I've lost my edge.  If my life was a television show I would be the sassy, bitchy friend to the sweet girl.  Think Miranda/Carrie in comparison to Charlotte from Sex and the City.  I know I'm not a Samantha because even on my best wild day I wasn't nearly that much of ho.  If you're the ho to your friends, no judgement just love.  :) Hmmm.  Where was I?  Oh, that's right.  The last few days I have been struggling to find topics to write about and it got me thinking.  Can I only write when I have inner turmoil?

Why is it that I have a lot to say when something is weighing heavily on my mind but when there is something good happening I keep it to myself?  Is self-deprecation my shtick?  (Heehee, I said shtick!)  God, I hope not.  

A lot has changed since I started this blog and in a short amount of time.  I feel like I put the pedal to the metal and here I am sitting on the sofa with my daughter watching old episodes of Full House with a hot cup of coffee when I would have been bitching about having to work doing a job I hated.  I am so happy to not have to sacrifice myself for the sake of those people any longer.  They were stealing my joy.  How could that have happened?  How could little old ladies, shopping for "ugly shirts and shit" steal my joy?  The answer is simple.  I let them.  That ship has sailed.  I'm not going to allow that any longer.  My joy is my own responsibility and it should be yours too.

I kinda feel like I'm growing up as I type my heart out into these pages.  I don't feel like that frizzy headed 4th grade freak.  I feel more sophisticated, more worldly.  I feel like this frizzy headed 6th grader.  

This is me thinking I'm the coolest chick in the band!   If I remember correctly those were shorts.  So stylish.  NOT!

Slowly but surely, I'm finding myself.  Not only making changes but I'm seeing them too.  Life is about making things happen.  Don't sit around wondering what might have been or what should be.  Don't worry about anyone but yourself.  I used to compare my life to other people's all the time and get down in the dumps because I didn't have what they had.  Then I heard the brilliant Tyler Perry say something that got me.  He said, "yes, the grass may be greener on the other side, but you better believe they have a higher water bill!"  

Start by finding your joy if you've lost it.  Make it your own.  Make one decision today and make it happen.  Here's an easy one for you; make it a great day!