Paying my dues...

I couldn't sleep at all last night.

I kept tossing and turning trying to figure out what I was going to do first.  I had compiled a list of hobbies and careers to research throughout the day.  Crazy things like Private investigator, Pole Dancing, and Ventriloquist to name a few.  Then I realized.  I am going to have to try these things!!

But where do I begin?  Do I need a license to follow people?  Or can I select someone in my family and follow them for a few days in a wig and sexy trench coat?  I am a Google Pro and can find things on anyone and anything, but PI's follow people around in dark SUV's with tinted windows.  Would my family see me in my "Mom-mobile?"  What would I find out about them? Knowing my family, that has me worried.

Pole dancing looks easy enough but I doubt my big ol' mom body can make it up the stage let alone a pole.  Imagine me doing the only dance I know by heart.  The Macarena.  Totes sexy.   

Ventriloquism seems to interest me the most, oddly enough.  I don't know if I'm more interested in the fact that I have decided to create my own puppet from scratch or knowing that I will have the day to myself because I just know my husband and daughter will not be with me that day out of sheer embarrassment.  Back to my puppet. I want a mini me.  I wonder if Pinterest has something on that?  Either way, she's going to be sassy and cute and I shall call her "Hambria."  Once she's complete I will take her with me every where for one day and only speak through my little representative.  Why does this excite me so much?  Ventriloquism is moving up the ranks of top career choices  faster than it took me to figure out how to spell Ventriloquist. 

Now that I've somewhat vocalized my plan in blog form, I'm planning my day.  

First stop, the San Antonio Public Library.  I need to get some books on the subjects I've listed.  I haven't been to the library since Preschool Story Time with my little girl.  Before that it was college.   But those days I went there with cute boys, pretended to look things up and said things in my flirty voice like, "Remember when we had to look things up with the Dewey Decimal System?" and "Wanna go to the Microfilm Machine room with me?  You can turn the knob."  I never read a book back then unless I had to.  I skimmed.  Anything to get things done quickly and get back to batting my eyelashes.  

Yesterday, I dug around my wallet, blew the dust off my library card and logged into their website to see if it was still active.  It's not.  And I owe $18.   Way to go, Andrea Jo.  Way to go.