Attention Shoppers...

There's an old cliche out there, "You can't know where you're going until you know where you've been," and boy, have I been places.  I've had the craziest adventures while at work and I thought I'd share a few today since I didn't quite make it to the library thanks to the demands of being a wife and mother.  How many times  do I have to go to the grocery store?  Why do they eat so much?  Rude.

Anyway...

My first job was the BEST.  I was a hostess at Sea World in Shamu's Happy Harbor along side my BFF, Robyn.  We were so excited to start work that we didn't care what we did, how ridiculously long our uniform shorts were or how many fires in the trash cans we started.  (Remember that, Robyn?)  We were basically the bouncers of the Happy Harbor.  Only kids "yea high" could get past us and our fancy height sticks.  We had so much fun walking around the park sweeping up trash and looking at cute boys.  We even found ourselves older boys in "Management" to make out with.  Oh, "Jason the Water Quality" you were so dreamy with your tan skin, bag of water testing chemicals and fast car aka golf cart.  The fact that he could go anywhere in the park to check the water was so hot.  LOL.  (Can I "LOL" in my own blog?  I don't know the rules but I truly crack myself up sometimes the LOL seems appropriate.)

I left my promising career as Happy Harbor Hostess to pursue the more lucrative field of bagging groceries.   I loved getting to meet new people and look at cute boys.  (Hmm, I sense a theme.)  Boys made me nervous those days and that made me overly loud and talkative. The things I said trying to be funny still make me cringe.  Once a live lobster came down the conveyor belt for me to put in a bag and I jumped back.  The cute cashier boy said, "what's the matter?  Haven't you ever had lobster?"  My brilliant but loud response was, "No, but I've had crabs!"  Seriously, Andrea, "I've had crabs?"    Everyone around giggled and I tried to play it off by rambling on and on about the types of crab dishes I've had like I was Bubba Gump talking about Shrimp.

Then there was the time I was asked to work at a Job Fair for the Grocery store since they knew I was dramatic and liked the theater.  I showed up early that hot, 105 degree San Antonio day thinking I was going to be entertaining the masses in a prestigious fashion.  Nope, I was Kool-Aid.  As in the Kool-Aid Man.  Super Prestigious.

This is not me but it could have been.  Image courtesy of Google.

The Grocery Store must have been desperate for cheap advertisements those days.  They actually let me make homemade commercials on the intercom.  I used to remind people not to leave the store today without picking the L'oreal lipstick that was going to make their smiles brighter and was on sale with $2.00 off coupon!  And that's not all, you could also get a lotion FREE with purchase of St Ives Body Wash!  Wow, You don't say?  It's sad how much I enjoyed hearing the sound of my voice on intercom.  It was so powerful.

I'm still convinced I could have been discovered and make it big as an announcer or voice over artist.

Maybe there is still time?

Lisp or no lisp, I'm gonna be "famouth."