Just shut your face sometimes...

Loving a difficult person is never easy.  I think God puts these people in your life because He's trying to teach you a lesson.  A lesson you won't fully understand and will be continuously taught until you are willing to let your guard down and surrender.  I surrender, so what do I need to learn?

I need to learn that I'm not perfect.  I'm too am a big fuck up.  I'm a hot mess most days and I don't deserve that unconditional love that He gives me, yet I'm quick to judge others on their faults and shake my dumb ass, disapproving finger at them.  Do I really deserve that?  Do they?

I need to learn that I can ALSO have a biting tongue and that yes, even my words can hurt others and that in turn, the way they've hurt me is in direct response to the way I've hurt them.  One word or phrase can change the way someone looks at themselves for the rest of their lives.  One moment where you feel like a bad ass for speaking your mind and saying it like you mean it can literally scar that person so badly that every night  they will go to bed hearing your voice.  Your voice can be the voice that reminds them of the things they hate about themselves the most.

I need to learn that all my "theories" are bullshit.  I can philosophize and analyse till I'm blue in the face but in the end it is NEVER about those pondered thoughts.  People who try and tell you "it's not about all you" are wrong.  It's ALWAYS about you. They are just trying to tell you it's about them too.  Everyone is in it for themselves and that's exactly how it always has been.  It's about what you/they feel.  How you/they react.  How you/they move forward.  Maybe wanting to change the world isn't really about the world?  Maybe you/they want to change your/their own world?  If everything in your/their world was perfect then why change it?  Why fight it?  Because, ultimately you/they deserve the love too.  

Next time you want to say something, don't.  Take a deep breathe and think.  Will saying what you need to say make you feel better at the expense of others?  If so, then shut the eff up.